Coping with Impending Farewell: Tools and Hope
In this article you will learn how to cope with impending death through meaningful reflection, compassion, and open dialogue. We connect practical exercises with insights from existential psychology, compassion-focused therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Additionally, we provide straightforward explanations of how brain processes and the oxytocin system can support your resilience.
Imminent death raises deep questions about who you are and what you want to leave behind. It can be accompanied by fear, anger, and regret, but it also offers a chance for meaning. An approach grounded in existential psychology helps you look at what truly matters: values, connections, and what you want to leave behind. Meaningful existence is not found in what remains to be done but in what you choose to do now from your core values. A first step is reflection: which values remain important to you and which relationships do you want to cherish? By articulating answers to these questions you can choose direction and act consistently. A practical exercise that helps with this is the Life Story Exercise: looking back on highlights, lessons, and decisions and connecting these to your core values, so you can formulate concrete wishes and actions for the coming days. The process supports emotion regulation via the prefrontal cortex, making fear less dominant and calm and direction more accessible. In this way you can stay in motion with humanity and integrity, even when the situation is intense.
Finding meaning and purpose in the final period
The approaching end unsettles existing ideas about control and the future. A meaningful start is to clarify values and what truly matters to carry forward. Existential psychology offers a framework: meaning does not arise from what remains to be done, but from what you choose to do now from your core values. A helpful exercise is the Life Story Exercise. It involves looking back on your life, linking memories to what you hold dear, and translating this into concrete wishes for the coming days. Through this process the prefrontal cortex is activated, so fear is less dominant and you can find calm and direction. Thus you can continue the path with confidence, paying attention to care and love.
Processing emotions through compassion and breathing
Compassion-focused therapy aims to increase self-compassion and kind attention to others, so fear and threat can diminish. Compassion meditation is a simple exercise that fosters calm and connectedness. A quick approach is: sit quietly, breathe slowly and deeply, notice tension and release it with each exhale. Bring attention to your heart area and use calming phrases such as It is okay to feel what is there and I deserve rest and care. Extend this to others by cultivating a kind attitude toward them. By practicing this exercise you stimulate the safety and calm system and promote the release of oxytocin, which enhances better connection with yourself and others. This helps in opening conversations about wishes, boundaries, and hope. You will notice emotions stay clear while you still feel connected.
Practical tools: Life Story Exercise and Farewell Conversation
Life Story Exercise is a valuable tool for bringing together stories and values. Set aside 20 to 30 minutes and reflect on who you are, which moments were important, and what lessons you want to pass on. Write or tell in a logical order: who I am, which events have shaped me, which values I want to show, and what I want to leave behind for the people you care about. If possible you can share this with a trusted person or record it so it can be revisited later. A farewell conversation is the next step to discuss wishes and boundaries with loved ones. Start with open questions such as What does my life mean to you and which moments had the most impact. Be honest, listen attentively and respect emotions on both sides. It is okay to let moments unfold a little slowly and when the conversation becomes too heavy, take a break and breathe.
Connection and brain hormones: prefrontal cortex integration and oxytocin
The interplay of existential psychology, compassion, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy shows how social connection and acceptance come together. It’s about the integration of emotions and acting from values. The prefrontal cortex plays a crucial role here: it regulates fear, holds attention, and helps make necessary choices. By consistently practicing the Life Story Exercise and compassion meditation, you train this brain network and fear becomes less overwhelming. Additionally, social contact and friendly interactions influence the oxytocin system, increasing the sense of safety and lowering stress. A practical application is regular, brief interactions with loved ones, eye contact, physical closeness where possible and desired, and breathing exercises that bring calm. Finally, the core principles of ACT help you accept what cannot be changed, choose actions that fit with your values, and continue to act from compassion and connectedness.
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